After SC verdict on Section 377, wheat trader arrested for shouting "gay-hoon le lo"

NOTE:  Funny Parody Article.  No offense intended towards anyone.  I don’t own this content, just blogging it here.  Original Link provided below.

Link: http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2013/12/14/after-sc-verdict-on-section-377-wheat-trader-arrested-for-shouting-gay-hoon-le-lo/

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After the Supreme Court decision to uphold Section 377 that criminalizes homosexuality, the first casualty  of the Victorian era law was a wheat trader in Delhi who was shouting ‘gay hoon, le lo!!  gay hoon, le lo!!’ which translates to ‘Pick my wheat’ but was misconstrued by law enforcement authorities to be ‘I am homosexual, pick me up’.

 NOTE: Picture for representation purpose only. Originally from here ===>   http://static.news18.com/pix/2015/04/wheat8.jpg

Sub-Inspector Rishwat Prasad Yadav who was on duty that time told The Unreal Times, ‘This guy was shouting loudly on the GB road and everyone knows it is a red light area. What am I to understand? Our investigations reveal that all his other antics before his arrest also suggested that he is a gay. He was seen asking people to vote for Andy in Bigg Boss, and was heard discussing with friends the commercial prospects of Dostana-2 if Ranbir Kapoor and Ranbir Singh were to star in the movie. We also have strong evidence to suggest that he loathed Sulbha Arya (who played Kantaa Ben in Kal Ho Na Ho) and is a big fan of Karan Johar. In the wake of no new law, it was nothing short of justice to have him arrested.

The LGBT community has come out in support of the wheat trader, and has been trying for his bail, but the court has ruled that he is no Laloo Prasad Yadav to get a bail on the grounds of parity. In other news, the Straight People Association (SPA) has filed a petition in the court to bring back Mangalyaan, as it is against the natural course of order, a move that has been lauded by religious leaders. ‘Manglik hone pe peepal ke ped se vivaah karna anivarya hota hai, kya Mangalyaan ki uchit pooja archana hui hai? [A manglik, as per the scriptures, must be married to a Peepal tree. Was Mangalyaan also subjected to the requisite procedure?]‘ asked Pandit Roodhivadi.

He also criticized Planet Romeo, a social networking site for the gay community. ‘Rahu, Ketu, Mangal, Shani ye sab grahan sune hai, ye Romeo grahan kya hai? [Heard of Rahu, Ketu, Mangal and Shani. What is this Romeo grahan?] This is totally against the Hindu Sanskriti and should be banned,’ he exclaimed. Supporting it, Father St. Orthodoks of the Church issued a statement, ‘I hope we soon come back to the original idea of the Church that earth was indeed the centre of Universe.’

What will happen if Pakistan attacks India with nuclear weapons?

Link:  http://www.quora.com/What-will-happen-if-Pakistan-attacks-India-with-nuclear-weapons

Note:  Came across this question on Quora.com.  I liked the topic very much and hence blogging it here.  I don’t own any of the content.

Answer Provided By:  Aayush Jain, Mechanical Engineer, ALFA LAVAL

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These two crazy countries... I tell you.

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inforvm the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.  This was their scenario.... ......... ....

But if there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan....

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.  They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced.  In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.  

But they need permission from the Government of India.

They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.  As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile.

But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target on its own government building at 11.00 AM.  Fortunately, there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.  In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.  The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.  This time all the parties agree.

Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.  Human chains are formed and Rasta Rokos organised.

In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning

the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning.  Some missiles deviate

from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.  Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.  Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination: Russia.

Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.  The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help.  India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and

sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

Pakistan never gets it right.

And......

We live happily happily ever after.

Read it somewhere. Fits perfectly.